Treat this as both a literature and design deviation
My two friends and myself write the horoscopes for our uni magazine, and I did the layout (within the header and footer).
Sometimes it's satirising astrology (which, while it's fine for you to believe it, is not a science), other times it's simply being as random, ridiculous, passively unfortunate and un-horoscopic as possible
This is actually a bit old, and we've just finished writing the ones for the next issue
There's at least one typo, and I realised (after it was published of course) that I left the last line off for Sagittarius, lol. How mysterious..
I hope you like your future! (or past, as it may be in this case...shhh)